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Speaking Your Truth


A question from Jonathon…

How do you know when speaking your truth is right?

Dear Shelley,

My name is Jonathan and I was reading some of the stuff on your site and found what you had to say very interesting. I wouldn’t normally write someone (excuses in my mind being that you are probably very busy, have lots of people writing to you, not to mention your schedule) but I still am because I do believe what you say about following what your heart says. I think I am at a pretty low level right now. My main concern with myself is trying to be brutally honest all the time. It’s not easy though, because I suppose in today’s society brutal honesty is inappropriate. Being completely honest hurts peoples feelings too, so isn’t that the opposite of love? There are lots of times when I would like to speak out loud against something someone is saying or doing, if it’s wrong to others. I work right now in the military and lots of times people don’t treat others right, and then if you are nice to the weak, they try and prey on you (so they can feel like the people preying on them) does that make sense? Anyways, I don’t know why I am writing this, it just feels right. Hope you are having a wonderful day.


Dear Jonathan,

Thank you for writing to me. I am never to busy to share with someone who is following their heart!

You are right, it’s not always easy to be honest… Honesty is usually the hardest thing to choose! The trick is using your discernment to know when to speak out, and when to ALLOW. This requires learning not to pass judgment on what is going on around you, and coming to a faith that all things are as they should be… realizing that even though we can’t always see the future and WHY seemingly evil or wrong things must happen, that the perception of these things is necessary for our growth, and for coming to the ultimate truth about love. Without wrong, we would never recognize right, without evil, we would never know good. All things that appear to be opposite, are in fact two sides of the same coin together creating one perfect whole… Light cannot exist without darkness, day without night. Good and Evil, right and wrong are illusions… Neither truly exists except in our minds. The perception of right and wrong are necessary though, for our personal growth and evolution. When you get beyond judging right and wrong, yet understand they are necessary illusions, you come to a place of ACCEPTANCE and ALLOWANCE… This is the highest form of love and wisdom.

When you see someone saying or doing something you THINK is WRONG, you are JUDGING in your mind… You are becoming the decider of right and wrong for them, even though you do not know the BIGGER PICTURE, the higher reason WHY this may be necessary for them at the time… Pain is necessary for growth, it is the ONLY reason we search for solutions… The only thing that drives us within to question WHY. People need to go through the struggle (even when we are talking about our society/world) to FINALLY come to the ultimate truth… That we are all ONE, and that what we are doing to others, we are doing to ourselves.

To intercede by passing judgment on someone’s process though, can rob them of the very lesson they are in the middle of learning. Your honesty comes into play when you are affected by their struggle… When you are drawn into the situation of course… When you are ASKED for your opinion, or for your physical response, etc, this is when you must decide if you will be your authentic self, or instead play the role you feel you are expected to play. Your honesty is yours alone, and only you know what is RIGHT and WRONG for you… Your honesty comes from being true to your principals, the moral code you live by (because you KNOW it is TRUTH in your HEART)… Not a truth your were told or taught to believe in, but one you have DISCOVERED on your own inward journey to know yourself. To betray this inner truth is to cause yourself pain and torment, which are the side-effects of sin… The only sin is to betray yourself, your heart, to lie against the inner voice of your soul.

No one can give anything to you, or take anything away from you, unless you LET them. You are solely responsible for how you perceive things and allow yourself to feel about reality. You just need to be the person that is RIGHT for YOU TO BE… And know that all those that would prey on you can NEVER REALLY harm you… this is an ILLUSION you must learn to see past. THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN HARM YOU IS YOU. As long as you are true to yourself, you will be ok.

JUSTICE is EXACTING… That is why Christ said the most importnt commandment is… “LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF.” This is because literally, what you do unto others will be done unto you… It’s KARMA… A UNIVERSAL LAW of energy… We are like mini-gods in our own little Universes (realities)… all co-existing and clashing into each other in the process of becoming… BUT you are in control of what happens in your reality… NOT ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU… As long as you put out in THOUGHT and WORDS and ACTIONS, what you would like to get in return, you will always be OK. If someone wishes you harm, they will receive harm from their very desire to harm you… I PROMISE… There is no need for ANY OTHER punishment, or rectification… They have already set it in motion for it to be done to them… You know the saying “what comes around goes around.” IT’S NO LIE… SO take comfort in knowing there is no need for you to defend yourself, or to put up walls, or to interfere when you see something you think is wrong… Just accept and allow, and know it is for a reason that you cannot yet see, and that it will take care of itself through the law of Karma.

People throw this word around KARMA, as if it’s something religious, etc… But it is simply the LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT. The biggest injustice of all is our JUDGMENT, our interference in trying to correct what is already PERFECT. It is very hard to come to a place of complete acceptance of what is, to release judgment, and to KNOW (not to believe but to TRULY KNOW) that all is as it should be… Go within and search your heart, and ask YOURSELF to know the TRUTH, and let NO ONE tell you what to believe, not even me :-)… You will find the answers you seek inside of yourself.

Wishing you peace and love,


This meditation on Judgment is great for contemplation, borrowed from “Gifts From A Course in Miracles”.

The choice to judge rather than to know
is the cause of the loss of peace.
You have no idea of the tremendous release and deep peace
that comes from meeting yourself and your brothers totally without judgment.
Judgment always imprisons because it separates segments of reality
by the unstable scales of desire.
You who would judge reality cannot see it,
for whenever judgment enters reality has slipped away.
No one who loves can judge, and what he sees is free of condemnation.
Comparison must be an ego device, for love makes none.
Specialness always makes comparisons.
It is established by a lack seen in another,
and maintained by searching for, and keeping clear in sight,
all lacks it can perceive.
Learn this, and learn it well,
for it is here delay of happiness is shortened by a
span of time you cannot realize.
You never hate your brother for his sins,
but only for your own.
Judgment was made to be a weapon used against the truth.
It separates what is being used against,
and sets it off as if it were a thing apart.
And then it makes of it what you would have it be.
It judges what it cannot understand,
because it cannot see totality and therefore judges falsely.
Wisdom is not judgment; It is the relinquishment of judgment.
“When I have forgiven myself and remembered who I am,
I will bless everyone and everything I see.”